need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
false alarm. still invincible.
i love accidental penises.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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