so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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