yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
