i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
