Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
