Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
they need to just BURY HIM!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
