Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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