Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Who died my cat blue again?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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