I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
