there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
