honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
