His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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