just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
