Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
