so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
did i walk over a car last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
