If i come over, it means nothing
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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