yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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