all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
