So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
