um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
