I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't turn off my feet"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
