i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
