Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
