So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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