the condom got lost in my hair
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize