If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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