sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
