did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize