Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
