at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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