you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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