i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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