I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
