Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
