if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
