no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
