I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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