It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
