yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
