Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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