I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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