How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
