Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
