your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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