You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
