Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
