I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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