She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
