office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
