it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
