no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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