he thought i was a dude.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
