I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
